This article contains personal and professional (Osteopathy) anecdotes about my experience of rushing through life.
I could have titled this piece “the art of slowing down”, but this concept of “slowing down” usually pertains to external happenings and thus had too many connotations attached to it. When I say “not rushing” this refers to an entirely internal process. We can undertake an enormous number of external tasks in a short period of time and still not rush on the inside, within the mind and body. In fact, we are likely to be far more efficient if we do.
We modern humans seem to have an infinite capacity to become distracted from the physical, psychological and spiritual aspects of our self. We constantly fill our time with external occupations to avoid making internal change, mostly because it’s too difficult and confronting….
As a result, we are stressed to the max and constantly teeter on either physical or mental breaking point. It’s not necessarily our fault either. But as a society, and as individuals, we need to make a change irrespective of whether anyone is to blame.
Do you ever feel like you are rushing through life, from one task to the next and never having time to relax?
It would be nice to just sit on the verandah or balcony and watch the world go by sometimes, right?
Maybe like me, you say to yourself; when I get home from work, I’m finally going to sit down and meditate today. But then you finish cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the floors, doing the groceries, filling the car up with fuel…. next thing you know, the day is already gone and you’re exhausted. Filled from start to finish with work and life-chores and you spent the whole time rushing from one to the other in the vain hope that there would be enough time at the end to relax.
I freely admit that I catch myself doing this, over and over. My daughter knows it better than anyone, because before I can sit down and play with her there is always just “one more job” to finish. What a surprise then, that she is starting to repeat this mantra back to me when I ask for something from her – “I’m a bit too busy dad” or “I just need to finish this first…”
When we don’t conquer ourselves, we do pass on the same problems to the next generation.
And what about what’s happening internally while all this rushing occurs? Have you ever wondered what it does to our blood chemistry and how it affects the overall physiology and functioning of our body?
Let’s dive into that, but first I’ll give a personal example of the kind of internal stress that begins only as a construct of the mind, but with time overflows into the body and slowly destroys it.
I had an epiphany of sorts, while driving home from work some years back. I was working long days, while my wife was at home looking after our newborn daughter (who was quite frankly a nightmare for the first 12 months of her life!)
I’d finish late in the afternoon, usually running late. Then I’d struggle to concentrate on sorting the dreaded admin tasks before closing up the osteo clinic and heading home. Already running late and thinking my wife would be at the end of her tether, I’d rush to the car and start the 45min drive home. I would then proceed to (without being unsafe or speeding) rush the entire drive home.
What I noticed, while all this rushing was happening inside my head, is that it always took the same amount of time to get home. The rushing was only a mental construct and not a physical reality.
I also noticed that it was more or less irrelevant to my wife whether I got home 10 or 20 minutes later than the time I expected to get home.
My physical experience of this time was awful though, because I was giving myself anxiety. I had a host of physical symptoms that were starting to become quite pathological and affecting other areas of my life.
Once I realised this, I started to observe the very same effect in my clients at work.
When I started asking questions, I found that nobody seemed to have enough time and spent all day rushing from one task to the next. Everyone presented to the osteo clinic with various different physical ailments. However the “busier” they perceived themselves to be and the more they “rushed” through one week and into the next, the harder it was for me to help them resolve the physical manifestations or “injuries”.
So what is happening physiologically here?
On any given day, we need about half of our energy supply just to maintain and sustain the body. This includes digesting incoming food, repairing damaged tissues, moving nutrients around the body etc.
Definitions required here:
Sympathetic nervous system (fight & flight type function of the body)
Parasympathetic nervous system (rest & digest functions).
What happens when we “rush” all the time, is we start to divert the energy supplies required for parasympathetic functions and we ramp up the sympathetic nervous system. This means we can focus more energy on external tasks, but we sacrifice our bodies daily internal chores of maintenance and repair.
This works for a day or two, even a few weeks at a time, but then the debt has to be repaid.
If things continue this way, the body gradually loses balance. Over time, the sympathetic nervous system becomes dominant and the body stops healing and repairing. This leads to really chronic, but unrecognised internal problems. Then eventually the sympathetic system fails as well because it cannot sustain this kind of activity. It is only ever meant to keep us going in short bursts at a high intensity. With this failure, comes the loss of adrenaline and all its analgesic capacities.
Not everyone experiences a catastrophic failure (Acute Adrenal fatigue), but eventually the cracks start to show. Pain starts to present more regularly and persistently, injuries become recurrent, chronic illnesses start to appear…
About the worst thing you can do at this point, is fill up on antibiotics and steroids to suppress the problems, drink a double shot of coffee and then plough on ahead with the “rushing” lifestyle.
I’ve also discovered the hard way where this leads. I’ve bottomed out a few times after hitting the coffee too hard, for too long. I was devastated too! Thinking about having to go without coffee because it “wasn’t good for me.” Insert sad face here!
Hold it right there!! Because what I discovered on reflection, is that the problem wasn’t the coffee, it was me. I was using the coffee to fuel my “rushing.” I was making myself a shaking, anxious mess!
It turns out, I just need a solid hour to drink a coffee. Sometimes two! And if that’s the case, make it a double shot – no problem! Because when I give myself time, my body has no problem with the coffee. No shakes, no anxiety, no sweating.
Sometimes, all that is required is a simple shift in perspective. Occasionally we need more than that too – we need to stop, put down the tools of life and just sit, or play with our children without finishing one last job… and sometimes, we even need to take a holiday and just do nothing! (And just to clarify, watching Netflix or scrolling through your phone is NOT nothing!)
When we truly stay calm within ourselves, despite a hectic world around us, we are actually capable of achieving amazing things. We don’t have to be superheroes, but if we keep a level head and don’t let our thoughts start rushing, a busy day remains just that. It doesn’t turn us into a quivering, stressed, anxious mess. Our health doesn’t gradually deteriorate.
On the bad days, I am still overwhelmed by the perceived weight of all the tasks I have yet to accomplish.
But on the good days… when my daughter asks me to play, I just play. I leave the jobs for later – we always get them done anyway – and I spend time without an agenda of my own, watching her grow and watching the world go by. Sometimes it’s meditating or playing music and singing, or staring at the moon… but perhaps even more importantly, it’s working my way through a busy day, one moment and one task at a time. Because one task on its own is rarely overwhelming for the body-mind if our focus remains clear and present.
Very occasionally, you will come across someone that seems to make time stand still. They never seem to rush or get flustered, yet they always seem to accomplish so much. What I have learnt, is that these beautiful people naturally keep a steady internal rhythm. They do not rush or panic. They live in each moment and don’t get distracted by what is coming next until they are ready to tackle it. They also invariably have a very clean bill of health, and live long and prosperous lives – and why not – they never rush!
Nobody is perfect of course, and we shouldn’t expect ourselves to be. There is definitely no such thing as perfect when it comes to art, or life either for that matter. However, in the interests of health, I will spend the rest of my days trying to perfect the art of not rushing.